Time Well Spent

It's tax season, and 2009 is the first year I was entirely self-employed. My status as a freelance has created a situation that I wasn't fully appreciating until now - Tax Time.

The business side of the freelance coin is difficult to manage and empowering. I am lucky enough to have a very consistent nearly full-time freelance job

which is ideal for me. I'm working all the time. Great. The personal side of freelancing is the real draw for me, because I'm able to spend so much time with my boy. The struggle for working parents, the balance between money for bills and living life with our kids is a constant point of anxiety. It's an impossible choice for most people, and I'm so happy that I'm able to truly do both.

So as I'm analyzing my year month-by-month, line by line, I can see all the work I did and remember all the happy rewards. Tons of cabin time...

An amazing and unforgettable camping trip to the Superior National Forest with my honey, my small man, my mom and the happiest wolf in the mid-west...

My first duathlon with my best friend, my first half-marathon, Jack's big marathon debut, and a 150-mile bike ride which raised tons of money for a great cause and taught me a lot about myself, what it means to really be tired and to fight hard for something...

...and in the midst of all this, we built a brand new garage and created a new beautiful backyard with the help of some very generous and lovely friends and neighbors.

So at a time when I could dwell on the checks I will write, I choose instead to focus on the beauty of a year's worth of time well spent.

Racing Day

Looking back, it was January 21st when I wrote a note about getting back into running.  Finally, on October 11th, I'm running a race.  My very first.  It's in Ashland, Wisconsin, a place I've never been to but about which I've heard fantastic things.  Beautiful.  We're staying on Madeline Island which I'm also told is one of the most picturesque and charming locations in the midwest, if not the world.  I'm so excited.  I thought I would be nervous, but it's more anticipatory thrill than anything else. 

The butterflies are, I'm finding out, vital to the process because they wake me up at 6:30 am to get my ass out of bed and get my feet on the sidewalk.  They push me past the first big hill into the previously allusive "zone" of running.  Don't misunderstand, I am not one of those people who will tell you "It's a peaceful experience, and once I start I feel like I could run for hours".  No way.  It hurts, and it's hard, and I kind of want to stop all the time.  But once I stopped stopping, it got really good.  And it feels fantastic to know that I can just keep going and I won't actually die.  

So 9 days from now I'll be done and surely feel amazing and almost certainly will have caught the race bug.  At least that's my hope.  Knee health be damned!!  If it all works out maybe I can post a picture of my post-race self.  Red-faced and sweaty.  Hopefully smiling.  Not dead.

The moon is out, that means it's time for night-night.

I know, Moms annoy the hell out of you with their kid stories, but seriously ... last night, at my lovely sister-in-law's birthday dinner, my 2 year-old busted out with that gem. He looks outside, points his tiny finger at the sky, and sings "The moon is out, that means it's time for night-night". You would die too. Admit it. Look at him....
So aside from adoring my child, I've been searching for new work lately, which is mostly depressing and exhausting, but also exciting and fun. I'm having trouble resigning and settling into the fact that I'm not working, and just enjoying that fact. It's a source of constant low-level anxiety. Not a good kind of anxiety to have. The important thing is to find a position, or some freelance work, before Jack gets laid off his plumbing gig. The two of us unemployed at one? That would be bad. Fun, but dangerously underfunded fun.  

Speaking of cheap fun, Jack and I went camping on the Gunflint Trail outside of Grand Marais a few weeks ago. We had the best time ever. No kidding. Hiked, biked, collected wood, cooked over our own little campfire, tented; it was awesome. We had so much fun we only took one picture. Well, one picture I can publish at least...

The good news is, it's fall. All my favorite sweeties are having birthdays left and right. Weddings, too! My very close friend of almost 20 years, JoEllen, is getting married toward the end of the month in Red Wing. Should be a great time, especially considering she's the most creative woman I know, and doing everything herself. Can't wait.

So happy September, Happy Birthday everyone (weird, isn't it? How many people have birthdays this month? It's sick!) and Happy Marriages to all. Send me some good job-hunting vibes, if you will, and help me accentuate the positives of my current situation.

UPDATE

See below. That cute ring broke after wearing it 1 time. No longer my favorite website. I'm returning it. The dress, however, is fantastic.

I just bought these amazing pieces from my new favorite website. southmoonunder.com They have beautiful clothes and bright, funky jewelry. A lot of it is out of my price range, but big big sales abound! Enjoy, ladies. And free shipping over $150. Call it my new house purchase, 1 of 30.

Another day, another dollar

I'm not going to be another person complaining about gas prices. I will, however, be another person making drastic lifestyle changes to drive much less and use less of that unbelievably expensive fuel. Riding my bike to work is one. It's 7 miles, no big deal. I can only do it on certain days when I don't pick my son up from school, but even that will make a difference. It's a thrill, I arrive home feeling refreshed and full of energy for the evening, and I have to admit I'm smiling with self-pride when I cruise past car after car on the way home.

Besides being the safest thing on 4 wheels, the thing I love most about my car is a mileage calculator that constantly updates itself as you drive. So when i do drive, I'm maneuvering and adjusting my acceleration and coasting techniques to keep that number as high as possible. It's a fun game, serving my brain, pocketbook, and world.

My boy is a world-appreciating inspiration to me. When he has a choice, which is most of the time, he wants to be outside. He plays with sticks for hours. No kidding. It's a huge thrill! And he likes to find sticks that are shaped like letters. Constantly challenging himself, that boy. So we walk around the yard, the neighborhood, the park. We ride bikes in the driveway, he coasts in the Burley around town, and he couldn't be happier about it. Take cues from the little ones, people. Outside is where it's at. We need no other stimulation than the world around us.

This week I'm also taking cues from some of my adult lady-friends. I've been told I'm a good listener, but it's not all selfless. I do want to help and offer advice or comfort, but I'm also absorbing and analyzing everything so I can use it toward my own personal growth. I learn lessons every single day, about relationships, work, family, and the delicate balance of social interaction. It's truly invaluable. So to all my pals out there, thanks for talking!!

Decision Time

I'm getting really close to putting an offer on a house. It's some serious business. I have been planning for it for a long time, and I've been looking for a few months, and now is the time. I've narrowed it down, and I've made a decision. I have a bunch of paperwork and forms to complete, and loan finalization, etc, but that's entirely secondary to the big issue. Soon enough there will come a day when I have to sit down in a room, and sign those papers. All by myself. Just me. I'll own a house that's just mine. The prospect is pretty scary, actually. I have gotten some good advice, the most important of which is "go with your gut". That's what I"m going to do! Wish me luck, and the wisdom to make the right decision and never look back.